The Doubts That Come With Counseling

How often do you end the day thinking, “Did I even accomplish anything? Was I even helpful?”

Given how isolating and ambiguous our career can be, it’s easy to feel full of self-doubt, especially when we don’t always get immediate (or any!) gratification. This uncertainty is incredibly common at the beginning of a counseling career and seems to continue on through taking on a new type of client, theory, format, etc.

So, how do we know if we’re making a difference? Beyond directly asking for feedback (yes, that’s absolutely okay for counselors to do!), there are several measures of progress that can help. Here are some key reminders to include in your daily goals.

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Signs You’re Making a Difference

1. You Were Able to Be Present with Your Client

This means actually being able to hear what your client is saying, not planning what you’ll do during your next break. You’ll be reacting appropriately to what clients are sharing: laughing when humanly appropriate, asking a question about the small thing they glossed over, and encouraging more disclosure.

Being able to remain calm and yourself throughout a session sends a powerful message:

• Their struggles are not as overwhelming or scary as they might believe.
• They are not alone.
• They are in a space where they can process safely, without judgement.

Coregulation is a huge part of relationship-building, and therapists naturally become experts at it.

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2. You Were Able to Hear More Than What Was Said

When clients talk, we’re not just hearing what happened or who’s right or wrong. We listen for:

• The deeper unmet needs.
• What this means to them.
• Who they are because of this.

Imagine a client, Pat, venting about their partner, Wallace, not wanting any home decor in the color purple. It’s not really about purple—it’s about feeling dismissed. A friend might take sides, but a therapist responds differently:

💬 “I can see how powerful Wallace is to you. It must have hurt to feel like they didn’t care about your favorite color.”

That kind of reflection helps clients feel truly seen—sometimes for the first time in their lives.

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3. You Gave Your Client Space

One of the best moments in therapy is when a client has a realization on their own. We guide, but we don’t dictate. Unlike a parent or friend, our role isn’t to push an agenda—it’s to help clients understand themselves better. Almost everything in a session is about and up to them.

A good enough therapist:
✅ Gives clients space to explore their thoughts and feelings.
✅ Supports their journey without imposing personal beliefs.
✅ Encourages self-awareness and growth.

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Final Thoughts

What we offer is incredible and rare. Our undivided attention, calming nervous system, and ability to reflect back in a non-judgemental way create space for healing.

Fortunately or unfortunately, if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re doing enough as a counselor, you are right where you need to be: reflecting on yourself in order to serve your clients as well as possible.

Want help reflecting? Reach out for a free consultation.