What is “Optimal Sex”?
Believe it or not, Kleinpatz et al. (2009) spent time with 60+ year olds who were married 25 years or more to understand what self-reported “Optimal Sex” really means. Read on for five takeaways that might blow your mind. And that’s that! How did this quick description surprise you, or…
How Chronic Pain Research Can Inform Sex
Did you know that pain is greatly informed by the brain and less so the site of the felt pain? Imagine phantom limb syndrome where an amputated limb still aches days, weeks, months after being removed. If pain originates solely from the body part, there shouldn’t be pain where there…
Want Better Sex?
Consider these dimensions of a sexual encounter: These are the Six Sexual Health Principles developed in collaboration with the Harvey Institute, World Health Organization and Michael Vigorito. No matter how familiar you are with these concepts or how far you feel from achieving them, you deserve this kind of intimacy…
Why Theory Doesn’t Matter
Therapists, do you ever hear “Which training have you completed?” or “Are you certified? What about up to Level A12?” How about, “Did you pay the full $4,000 fee, plus supervision, plus video review, plus paperwork review, plus life plan review???” Or Clients: “Are you trying ZTD for your anxiety?”…
Book Notes: It’s Not You
After reading It’s Not You by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, there are so many good points I am only reviewing one part to go over general narcissistic traits. The rest of the book explores increasing narcissistic resistance (i.e. avoiding entering narcissistic relationships) and shares ideas for managing the impact of narcissism…
How Feeling Annoyed Can Actually Help You Be More Empathetic
To say “I wish I never felt [insert unpleasant feeling here]” is not only unrealistic, but limiting your ability for actual empathy. As a therapist/client/human/parent/boss/etc.(!!), you will inevitably feel frustrated by others because we are social, feeling, meaning-making creatures. If you were able to somehow inoculate yourself of annoyance or…
Mental Preparation for Backpacking (and Life!)
Before going on my first backpacking trip, I had no idea why anyone would want to carry so much stuff, for so many miles. My first day of hiking started out with a maladjusted backpack: my pack and straps were too loose, leaning the pack too far from my shoulders,…
The Role of Your Supervisor
Do you ever wonder what the purpose of supervision is, beyond a licensing requirement? There are models of counselor supervision that provide guidance on this, such as the Discrimination Model, which outlines three roles: 1. Teacher This role comes from a more practical approach, possibly reminding you of graduate classes.…
Book Notes: So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex
Ian Kerner’s So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex was such a fun and informative read! The author gives a vast survey of research on sex and sexual behaviors organized around a sex script. The idea goes that if two people (or just you, with yourself!) are…
Learning “In the Moment” for the Most Growth
While the term state-dependent learning may have originated in lab experiments with rats and medication, it actually holds some powerful wisdom for modern humans, especially when it comes to therapy. At its core, state-dependent learning is the idea that we’re more likely to remember and use a coping tool when…
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